The "I Am" Athlete: Presence, Purpose, and the Grumpy Soccer Ethos
- Lindsay van Kessel
- Dec 19, 2025
- 3 min read
In soccer, as in life, the most formidable opponent isn't the one wearing the different colored jersey—it’s the voice in your head whispering "what if?" This mental noise can be the difference between a player who reacts and a player who enters their Flow State, between someone who is playing the game and someone who is just trying not to lose it.
To truly excel, we must bridge the gap between our physical skills and our mental presence. This means grounding ourselves in the present moment, transforming our internal dialogue, and bringing our full "Game Mind" to every session.
Moving from Fear Control to Present Action
The "What If" mindset is rooted in fear: What if I miss? What if I get subbed? What if they're better than me? This is fear control—an attempt to manage outcomes that haven't happened yet. I want to help players embrace a different path: "It is in failing that we learn, but only if we reflect on our decisions that led to that failure". Failure does not define us, but our decisions afterwards can define our development.
When you replace "What if?" with "I am," you shift from a state of anxiety to a state of being.
"I am here to be better than I was yesterday".
"I am ready to work and play".
"I am holding myself accountable".
This "I Am" mentality removes the paralyzing weight of the future and anchors you in the only thing you truly own: your response and your actions.
Bringing the "Game Mind" to Every Session
You cannot expect to find presence on match day if you practice with a distracted mind. The Grumpy Soccer ethos demands a deliberate mental shift the moment you arrive.
1. "Flip the Switch"
The commitment is clear: "I will 'Flip my switch' when I step onto the field". This means physically and mentally leaving distractions at the gate. You aren't just there to participate; you are there to be "mentally ready to work and play" at the best level you can.
2. The "What's Next" Focus
Distraction often comes from dwelling on the past—a bad pass, a missed tackle, or a frustration with an official. The successful player acknowledges the moment and immediately asks, "What's next?" This aligns with the "Thinking Player" pillar of my psychological game model, emphasizing composure and work ethic over emotional reaction.
3. Intentional Participation
Presence isn't passive. It is an active desire to compete and a "Team First" mentality. When you are fully present, you aren't just watching the ball; you are communicating, seeking help when you don't understand, and offering help to teammates because you want the collective to succeed.
The Core Behaviours of Presence
Being in the moment means adhering to a set of behaviors that silence the "What Ifs":
Work with what you have: "I will do my best with what I have today". This stops the comparison trap and focuses you on your current reality.
Remove the complaint: "I will try, I will not complain". Complaining is a form of distraction that looks for external excuses; trying is a form of presence that focuses on internal effort.
Embrace the imperfection: Knowing you will never be perfect allows you to play with freedom. You stop overthinking the "perfect" play and start making the present play.
Embrace feedback: Reflection and feedback moments must be respected. “I am going to listen to advice and reflect on my decisions relating to the moment.”
Conclusion: Just Be
Ultimately, the goal is to "Have fun, however you define it, compete, strive for the best but make sure you are able to laugh". When you remove the "What Ifs" and replace them with the "I Am," you don't just play better soccer—you experience the game more fully.
Don't overthink the game. Flip the switch, be better than you were yesterday, and stay focused on what is next. That is the heart of the "Thinking Player".
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